her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
