I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
