i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
