her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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