My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
