She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
