somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
