well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
