Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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