Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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