on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if only i could text you this smell
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
