hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Randomize
