After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
this is an emotional support booty call
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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