Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
