OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I need mimosas to revive my soul
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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