You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
