I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
