we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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