pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
