YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
