Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize