i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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