I have demons in me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
