Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
