so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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