M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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