I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
