Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
