I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
