party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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