he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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