I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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