No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
