Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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