did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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