Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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