i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
