So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize