the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
