Come see our sink grown plant.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
