we're blogging at a bar
You really coming over, don't trick.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize