dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
