Having a random hookup so left but love u
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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