You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
