I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
