he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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