Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
