The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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