Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
