Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
