I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
