she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
