I got chris browned last night
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
