you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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