How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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