Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
